Frienemies

Husband & I sometimes like to have a drink at the Seminole Paradise (large shopping complex by day, clubs and bars by night) watch people. It's amazing. Who lets these girls go out looking like THAT? Who the hell lied to them? Did their friend take one look at them and go "Totally! That's what's going to get you laid tonight"? Sister, that "friend" is no friend! She's a frienemy! She wants YOU to look as bad as possible so no one looks at you and looks at her instead. Women suck...trust me. I used to know girls that only associated with other girls that were AT LEAST 10 lbs heavier than they. I once had a "best friend" that I kept around for so long because I knew I was cuter than she. See...even me, the Good Christian Brown has done it.

That's right. Even I have been a part of the FRIENEMIES!

Ladies: follow your instincts. If you think you may be able to see the dimples of cellulite through the second skin (oh, those are white pants?) then SO CAN EVERYONE ELSE! No, your mirror does NOT play tricks on you. It doesn't invent foundation lines on your face, wrinkles in your eyes, weight to your boobs and it certainly does not create cellulite in your thighs. Get over it, its there. Find a way to camouflage it.
And when all else fails, wear straight leg, black pants. Always works.

Just don't let the flab hang over the waistband. OK?