Tuesday, May 29, 2007

B is for Boy, I'm sore!

Last Christmas, my husband's partner (Studio partner, not lover. That would be awkward.) gave me the Billy Bootcamp (as in Billy Banks, the Tae-Bo guy) DVD set complete with workout band. I thought this was a joke and expected to open the box and find really nice jewelry or a gift certificate (because usually, he gives me super great gifts) but when I opened the box and it actually was Billy Bootcamp, I was pretty offended. And disappointed! The plan was to return Billy Bootcamp (it was a $40 set!) but Chicken opened the DVDs so it's been collecting dust on my bedroom floor since December 26th.

Husband keeps complaining his shirts feel a little tight and I should start cooking healthy dinners. I can barley munster up the energy, creativity and time to put a frozen lasagna in the oven. (For the record, I'm actually a pretty good cook. But I'm also lazy.) I jokingly said he should use Billy Bootcamp! He took this in seriousness. That was 2 months ago. Everyday is "the" day he's going to Bootcamp!

So, you'll imagine my surprise when I came home Saturday evening to find my husband in
this position (the same outfit, too!). I had Subway in hand for dinner and dropped it all on the floor and followed the sandwiches by laughing until I nearly peed. It was quite the sight. When I was finished making fun, I looked @ the DVD player run clock which read 4:30 (as in 4 minutes, 30 seconds). Realizing I had food, he turned off the DVD player.

For the following 2 days, he moaned and groaned about the pain after 4:30 of aerobic stretching and I laughed more with each vision in my head.

Last night, after eating a lot of food (and cake), he "worked out" again. This time, I joined him. We went a whole 12 minutes, 20 seconds.

And now, muscles and ligaments hurt in my body that I forgot existed. While "stretching" I recalled my days as a speed skater and having to do the same exact stretches.

Except back then, I actually could touch my toes and plant my face on the floor.

Really! I'm Ok!

Lots of people get jacked up after a long weekend; sometimes it can be hard to adjust. "Is it Tuesday? Feels like Monday." And so on. This is no problem for me, though because my week was going to be jacked up regardless!

I'm working today and tomorrow I'm off to attend the Carnival Day @ Chicken's school which I've spend the past 3 weeks organizing (see below). THEN! As if that were not enough, Chicken's last day of school is Thursday but it's a 1/2 day so they get out @ Noon. And Friday is the official mark of summer for the kiddies.

Yeah, I'd better load up on some kind of pain reliever.

At work, I'm bidding on a new contract which will essentially make or break this company. If I get it, we'll be comfortable enough to distribute regular bonuses (like we used to) and perhaps have more than a few quarters in petty cash. Maybe we'll even get a refrigerator! (Over a year in this office and STILL no refrigerator. But we did finally get a water cooler which of course, means we're legit.) On the darker side, if I don't get this contract, this will probably be our last year in business. But you know, no pressure. Normally, I would lure the potential customer with my extremely good looks but they're based out of state which poses a real problem. Now I only have to go on my personality and charm. We're fucked, aren't we?

Our school placed 6th in the entire state for national testing scores. This would be a big deal to any school but our school? We go all out. We decided to hold a "Carnival Day" for the kids on the second to last day of school complete with small game booths, treats and a hot dog lunch! Because, you know, it being the SECOND TO LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! isn't enough excitement. Sometimes, I'm a sucker (ok, most times). When the principal casually asked me for a brainstorming meeting a month ago, I assumed she wanted to look at me for a while. But when she started to talk, I still hadn't realized I was being roped. That actually did not occur to me until last week when the pressure was on. Oh! I was supposed to create, organize and prepare Carnival Day! D'oh. Originally, the school was going to buy everything we needed because there happened to be a little bit of spending money left over in the budget. (Which I would attribute to me because I've spent so much time and money there, they haven't had to pay a single model.) Then some jackass (read: teacher) thought it would be silly! to SPEND the money the parents have donated. Instead, lets ask them to donate more stuff! During the last week of school. Yes, yes. Good idea. OH! And don't send out the notice to parents until FRIDAY. Friday was also the day all the children cleaned out their desks and took junk home. Plus, Monday was a holiday. That leaves TODAY. One lonely, single day to gather all of the supplies, set up all the classrooms and apply extra hairspray.

Again: we're fucked.

Where did I put the liquor?

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Dammit, Karen!

No, not my actual friend Karen. I think it's a term taken from a mob movie but I stole the saying from another friend, Shilah.

Anyway, so far this week, I've:

-inserted a small memory stick into a large floppy disk hole and cannot get it out
-left my keys in my husband's vehicle and he's gone to work until tomorrow
-burned several pieces of bacon
-forgot my camera when going to visit a brand new baby
-still have not paid for show tickets at Olivia's school (they were due last Friday)

All of this and it's only Tuesday.

Rut-ro, Shaggy.

Thursday, May 3, 2007


I try to come across as well-spoken, intelligent and quasi-classy. However, sometimes, the ghetto comes out and it's a little embarrassing. Yesterday, I spent the day @ Chicken's school (more on that later) and while discussing some Carnival Day booth options with the principal, I said about a dunk tank set up, "That's wack". They (said principal and other teachers surrounding us) thought it was really funny because I don't generally speak in such a manner but I was mortified. In hindsight, it was pretty hilarious because it was completely impulsive and shocking but on the flip side, I heard the principal use it in conversation with another parent this morning. Now that is funny listening.
In accordance with the ghetto; I'm seriously slippin'. Or is it trippin'? I don't know, I don't actually live in the real ghetto anymore (just behind the ghetto) so I'm losing my terminology.
This is the second week I haven't done Wunnerful Word Wednesday, I'm so disappointed in myself. I promised a weekly feature and I couldn't even get past week 1 but I promise to try and do better!
So I took the day off from work yesterday to chaperon a field trip at school and ended up spending the entire day there. The day flew by in such a flurry of excitement and promise, I was sad to leave at 4pm. When I came home and reflected on my day, I realized it was the best weekday that I've had in years. I know I said my job is perfect for my lifestyle but I can't help but notice that I feel more and more unfulfilled with each coming day. Silly monkey job is so unimportant, it disturbs me. Not that my position isn't important but the work we do doesn't make a difference in people's lives and I'm just very sad about the entire situation. Perhaps because there doesn't seem to be any kind of promising light at the end of this tunnel is why I'm feeling more pressure on myself. Whatever it is, I'm getting a serious itch. I need to do something that makes me feel good about myself as a person. I want to help people, make a difference and come home every afternoon feeling like I've done good with my day. Not just answer phones, tell men where to go and gossip all day.
Any suggestions?