Friday, January 5, 2007

My Eyes Hurt

Here are some fashion statements I don't understand:

-Guys with tall hair wearing a rubber band/headband around their head to put emphasis on the very tall hair.
-Young (not balding, non-military) guys with shaved heads.
-The mandana. 'Nuff said.
-Mini skirts with leggings. I'd rather bring Madonna back from the 80's.
-Skinny jeans. They keep saying that EVERYONE can wear skinny jeans. Even no-so-skinny chicks. This is not true. Trust me.
-Halter tops, tube tops and other inappropriately-revealing clothing in plus sizes. Also, maternity thong underwear.
-BIG hair. You know what I'm talking about. The ones who have super curly hair, keep it really long and turn their heads upside down and cause further global warming with a bottle of hair spray. B I G !
-Boho anything. This includes the huge t-shirt passing off as a dress but excludes the boho bag.
-HUGE Jackie-O sunglasses. Especially on tiny women.
-The mermaid dress. This cannot be comfortable.
-Guys wearing t-shirts down to their knees and then still wearing their pants below their ass. What's the point?
-$150+ sneakers endorsed by basketball, football and baseball players. I get having one pair of really good sneakers. I do not get why kids want several pairs. Are your parents very rich? If so, I'm available for adoption.
-The velour jumpsuit. Shut up.
-The one piece bathing suit with the sides and/or front and back exposed. What exactly are you covering?
My #1 fashion pet peeve:
-Little girls dressed as grown women.

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