Monday, February 26, 2007

Open Letter

This is an open letter to several people I know yet no one in particular.

To: Young Mothers of Young Children
From: A Young Mother of a Young Child
Re: Behavior


I know that you may have grown up in less than desirable circumstances. In a less than desirable neighborhood. With less than desirable parents. Me too. So I write you this letter of advice with experience because people all over are judging you. You say you don't care but clearly you do. This does not excuse your inappropriate behavior. STOP! You have kids now, babies who need you. You are no longer allowed to travel the tri-county area seeking the best parties and cheapest drinks all. the. time. Stay home. All kids need their moms. Even on weekends. Please close your legs and stop with the promiscuous (I knew this word before that silly song!) behavior. This is what got you kids you didn't want in the first place. If you must sleep around, don't let him stay over. Saying that your life revolves around your child does not mean it's true. Be home when your child wakes up Sunday morning, make her breakfast. Pop Tarts is not an acceptable breakfast. Hung over moms do not make for good moms. Don't take unappealing pictures of yourself and post them to the Internet. This applies especially to those currently locked in a custody battle. These pictures will be used against you in a court of law. You are no longer "cool". Being called a "MILF" because you wear revealing clothing doesn't mean you are one. Put your boobs away. You are not from the ghetto, stop acting like it. Don't let your daughter behave that way either. Stop teaching your sons gang signs. Instead, teach them to behave one class higher than your actual income. They will get much further in life that way. That's a tried and true method.
Lastly, love your babies. Because when you're all dried up and the "love of your life" stopped returning your calls, you'll only have your babies.

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