Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The mystery of people

I realize I'm not a "people person". I don't, in general, enjoy strangers. I love my friends, have a blast with acquaintances but I can do without strangers. I have a slight reputation for being "that bitch married to the Spacemen guy". I don't mean to come off so cross or unapproachable but that's just how I am. My feelings are always worn on my sleeve, for everyone to see. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I don't do "fake" well. So you'll understand why I have such a problem understanding people different than myself.
I'm beginning to recognize behaviors in people (by that I mean friends, family and strangers alike) which I do not possess; specifically, manipulative personality. Let's go back, way back to my childhood. In the family I grew up in, there was no bullshit. If someone was upset about something, anything, we'd say it outright. "You're pissing me off because you did this, this and this." Lots of words were thrown around, our feelings were expressed and we cried a lot of tears. But then it was over. We'd get mad, yell and by the time we saw each other again, we're long over it. And more times than not, it was never brought up again because it was resolved from the get-go. It's my opinion that this method is the definition of fighting fair.
It seems that many people in my life have an agenda, an underlying tone and I'm having serious difficulty coping with it. Manipulative personality confuses me. If you have something to say, say it; please don't make an accusatory insinuation, refuse to clarify and not give me a chance to defend myself. If you're upset about something, let me know so I can fix it. I cannot figure out why people behave like this (I'm just a writer, I'm not a shrink, ok?), I'm sure it stems from their own childhood or whatever...quite frankly, I don't give a damn.
Luckily (?), I'm surrounded by manipulative people who are also honest in their faulty fighting strategies and they're helping me understand ways to embrace people with this difficult personality.
Do you have someone in your life who's especially challenged in this department? How do you deal with it? Are you one of those manipulative assholes...I mean, friends? Please, friends, help me. How can I work through this?

2 comments:

Ramblings of Kimberly said...

You know...I get that alot too. Where I am assumed a bitch because I say exactly what I want. My feeling is...if you don't like it then go away. My husband always jokes...you would have no problem talking to a therapist...you say how your feeling and have no problem with expressing yourself! haha It's a good trait Miss Sophia! Love ya girl!

makin' it happen said...

I think the ultimate thought process here is that people are so different and you need to weed out the ones that don't match your personality well.... What I have found is that these people I try to as well shield myself from become chameleons and make me see something that is untrue just to turn around and kick me right in the face. I wish people came with a warning tag from all of their past relationships just so that we could deciede if their crazy was something we wanted in our lives. Thank you for bringing brown to my life...