Friday, October 27, 2006

The Guilt Fairy

Chicken is sleeping in my bed tonight as she is being left with a babysitter tomorrow for the very. first. time. ever. And I am so. freaking. nervous. And feeling guilty. So I've indulged her long request to "please mommy PLEASE let me sleep in your bed tonight.". "Ok, Chicken" I said.
In the past 6 years I've had a handful of nights out but she's always been left in the care of family. Or very close friends. Never a teenager.

"A TEENAGER?!" you say? Before you nominate me for Worst Mother To Ever Bore Child(ren), let me explain. There is a girl who lives in our neighborhood. A very sweet, church going, Publix working, shy, good, 17 year old girl. She lives with her slightly overprotective single mother. Rightfully overprotective. You see, our babysitter is strikingly gorgeous. And if I weren't sure Husband knew that I'd certainly get more than half (probably 3/4), I'd be a little nervous. Anyway, she lives in the neighborhood, therefore making her mother VERY close by in the case of some kind of chaos (and also ensures no boys will be coming over). She is babysitting because I'm out of back up plans.

Normally, my Mom would watch Chicken. But she has a date (and seeing as I am encouraging a slight case of gold digging, I couldn't guilt her into NOT going). Then Chicken was supposed to sleep over her friend's house (who's parents happen to be very close friends of ours) but her friend's mom had emergency surgery this week so with a part of the friend's mother intestine, there went plan B. Plan C usually consists of one of my relatives but they're all out of town camping (something I wish I was doing with them). Lastly, Plan D was foiled because of my pride. See, we have another set of parents-to-a-child-Chicken's-age friends but when I hinted to the mom that I had run out of arrangements for Olivia on Saturday, she did not offer her services. And because I hate to impose (and a little bit because I feel I'm "punishing" her), I didn't ask.
During past situations like this, I would just decide not to go out at all and stay home with the baby and bake yummy cookies and make stuff. But I need this. I need to have conversations with ADULTS. Conversations that do not include arguments about money, air conditioning, Halloween and Chicken's education. And. I need a drink. (I do not believe I've EVER said that in my entire life.) It's true, I don't drink. But I seem to have bit off a little more than my big mouth can chew and I just need to breathe. And maybe get a little tipsy. (Not so) sadly, I will end up talking about how smart and great Chicken is, what she's going to be for Halloween (a bride. Kind of creepy but I'll explain in another post), work and my love for Husband (in the form of nasty jokes and snide comments).

Such is my life. A life I chose with a great deal of thought. A life I am so proud of and grateful for. So I'm paying a beautiful 17 year old girl $50 to watch my child for a few hours so I can watch my ridiculously talented husband perform songs that were created in my bedroom.

I will definitely have toes in my nose tonight.

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