Balls Of Steel

Allow me to preface my funny story by insisting that I really do love my husband. And by funny I mean funny like when your brother farted on your head and everyone laughed but you. But onto the story.

And in continuing my multi-part series on stupid men, I give you this:

We went to Orlando last weekend to see my sister and her family who were there on vacation from New Hampshire. We stopped by the Ghirardelli Chocolate Shoppe, my favorite chocolate joint. I needed to pick up some baking supplies and holiday gifts. While I'm there, Husband asks me to get him "something other than the Carmel filled chocolate bar since we always get that at home". So I get him the 60% cacao espresso bar. Because the Carmel filled is the best, I buy myself one and eat one row on the way home, leaving 5 rows for later.
I spent the following day at work thinking about my Carmel chocolate bar. I came home, cooked (and ate) dinner and could not wait to rip into that bitch.

:GASP:

The bitch was gone.
Thinking that perhaps I put the candy in another bag, I asked my husband. "Honey, where is my Ghirardelli Carmel chocolate bar?"

Then it hit the fan.

You see...he ate the fat girl's chocolate. The. Whole. Thing. Then he laughed and said "It wasn't even that good." and left the evidence for all to see.
How are you going to eat a fat girl's high end chocolate, leave the wrapper, insult the candy and not immediately get up off your ass and purchase me a new candy bar? I don't understand.
He is paying for this dearly. I don't know how yet but he will be punished.
By the way, his 60% cacao espresso bar goes untouched. It will be destroyed and so will he.

Edited to add: Husband wants me to tell you that he thinks it's ok that he ate my $4 chocolate bar because I ate his frozen White Castle burgers. But I ate 2 burgers and left him 2. Besides, White Castle v. Ghirardelli? There is no contest there.

Husband shall pay.