This conversation actually occured today

Between a male technician (50+ years old) and me at 8:56am.

Me: Hi? Why are you here?
Him: ::blank stare:: Um, I'm a-pickin' up this a-paperwork and filters.
Me: ::confused look:: Didn't {boss} tell you to go to {customer} in Miami?
Him: ::continue blank stare:: Uh, I think-a she said something about eh meeting.
Me: No. There is no meeting today. Why are you at the office at 9am when you were supposed to be in Miami at 1st call.
Him: ::walking away from me:: Eh, ok. So what-a-do-a-you-a-want-a me to do? You tell me.
Me: I want you to tell me where the miscommunication happened so it doesn't happen again.
Him: ::still walking away:: I will call {boss}.
Me: Fine. Why didn't you go directly to Miami?
Him: I didn't know it was supposed to be first thing in the morning.
Me: Yes you did. What is this you say about a meeting?
Him: Oh, well-a, I guess she didn't say anything about a meeting.
Me: Ok. Why are you late?
Him: ::enters work truck:: Oh-a-kay. See you later. ::drives away::

And this is a small example of the frustrations I face at work. I have similar conversations like this multiple times a day.

You can understand now why I smoke and eat like it's my last day?