Monday, March 5, 2007

Lost

I know a little girl who may be lost.
I fear for her life. Not so much physical safety but her emotional and mental survival. I will worry about her physical self later, when she is older. It's coming; right around the corner.
Her life is filled with adult-type drama. She is caught in the middle of everything.
Why can't these people let their child live? They can help her. I can't decide if they don't know how far she is, if they know and don't care or know and cannot find the strength (or time) to help her.
If continued, she will end up in a bad place. She will outsource the love required from home. She will dip her toes in danger, only to fall in and bump her head. Hard. She will hurt just to see if she still bleeds. She is quickly becoming numb. A numb child is a dangerous thing.
I know she is misguided and lonely. I know her insides are twisted from her own reality. She reminds me of myself when I was 12 years old. Bright, with so much potential but everyone has given up on her.
I'm having nightmares about her future. I've been begging everyone to let her come stay with me this summer. For I believe I can "fix" her. I want to scoop her up with stability, love and guidance.
Perhaps healing her will close the wounds I have carried for 15 years. I will never forget the devastation I experienced when I was her age. She feels like no one loves her or cares about her, I know. She doesn't even have to say it. In her big brown eyes, I know what she can be. And they just won't have it.
"It's none of your business" they say. I have watched her grow since she was a toddler. I may not have birthed her or raised her but my heart literally aches in worry. As if she was my own.
How can I help a child who doesn't even know she needs help? And no one believes me.
I know and I love you.

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