Halls Cough Drops are the devil

I wonder if cough drops contain caffeine? Because after a bag of them, I'm pretty awake - regardless of the fact that I feel like I'm on my deathbed. Also - the cough drops? Not helping so much. I digress...

Tabitha @ Roots & Wings has generously been tutoring me both via her blog and email on card making. She makes the most gorgeous cards - I wish I had the amount of talent in her pinkie finger in my whole being.


Here's my card-making debut:


Generally, there would be 4 cards in a matching set but I got really tired and lost all interest and creativity by the 4th card so I decided to do without.

Up close:







On the inside, each of them look like this:


I feel pretty good about how they came out. My supplies collection is new and very small so I'm slightly limited but I'm excited about expanding and creating more cards.

***The hurricane status remains the same - it's either going to hit the East Coast (where I live) or the West Coast of Florida sometime between Monday and Tuesday. We'll know more tomorrow, hopefully but in the meantime, I'm pretty prepared for the worst case scenario. Now if only I could get Danny to get with the program and put the shutters up on the windows and doors. (sigh)

MY 100th POST!!

New friends - as promised, I'm answering all your questions in honor of my 100th post. I know the rule is to post 100 facts about yourself but I'm a rebel, dammit - so the 100 facts will be my 101st post.
This was so much fun - thanks for participating!

Kim @ Ramblings of Kimberly:
When you do finally get knocked up with another gorgeous child... are you wanting a girl or a boy? Why?
I can't believe I'm going to admit this but I've become one of those people who said "I don't care what I have - as long as it's healthy". It's so cliche but that's because it's true. For honesty's sake, I will say that lately I've been leaning towards wanting a boy. Because boys love their mothers and pre-teen daughters are brats.
When you first started your period...what happened? were you freaked out? did it happen at the most inopportune time?
I started my period the day OJ Simpson ran from the cops in his white Bronco. It was also my Grandma's birthday. I remember being really, really tired and sleeping all day. My mother was so glued to the television that she made my dad go and buy "supplies". Bless his sweet heart. I felt very annoyed by the whole experience because everyone was making such a big deal about it and also very relieved because it was over with.

Jennifer @ Extreme House Wifeing:
What is your idea of the perfect day?
The perfect day would have to be at least 48 hours long because there's never enough time for me to do everything I want. It would consist of spending a good part volunteering, more time with Olivia doing really girly stuff, cleaning my entire house without becoming bored or exhausted and it would end with me getting knocked up.

Jennifer @ Dust Bunny Hostage:
Do you think Martha Stewart deserved what she got?
I know this was posted as a joke but I'm going to answer it anyway because I actually have an opinion about this. (Shocking.) (shut up) I have been a Martha Stewart fan since before it was cool to like Martha Stewart. I get what the negativity is towards her - she's pretty pretentious and kind of a fraud (we all know her "people" do everything and she takes the credit). But she's done so much in her life and has been successful at almost everything she's done - how can I not strive to be more like her? Besides - I like good things, too. With that said, I strongly feel that the only reason she was treated the way she was is because she's a woman and that's never okay. Katt Williams said it best when he said "Who can blame a bitch for gettin' a tip that her money was about to be gone and then takin' it all out?".
What is that THING that you want your kiddos to remember about you one day?
I want my children to remember that I was their best advocate their whole lives. I'm proud to say that I'm not the type of mother who puts her own insecurities and issues ahead of the child's best interest. I want them to know that throughout their entire lives; education, relationships, justice and everything in between, that I shouted the loudest and fought harder than anyone else for them. Although they'll probably just remember I shouted the loudest.
Is your life more Shakespeare of Dr. Seuss?
My childhood fantasy was to have a Shakespeare life but fortunately, God gave me a Dr. Seuss life. A lot of humor and silliness is required.
What is THE BEST thing that blogging has given you?
I think I am not unlike most other "mommy-bloggers" (Is there a more PC term for this?) who feel that blogging gives me a sense of self. In addition, it keeps my brain working - I'm constantly challenging myself here. Most of all, I've "met" some very kind people who've been so helpful and supportive during those not-so-Dr. Seuss-moments.
(PS - I would like to give a special HOLLA out to Jennifer @ Dust Bunny Hostage for asking the most questions!)

Mrs. N @ All That Naz
If you were a crayola crayon...what color would you be?
Gosh - I have no idea. I would just be a saturated shade of LOUD pink and it would be called SOPHIA. (Suggestions can be emailed directly to Crayola.com.)

Carianne @ Confessions of a Middle Aged Mess:
How do you think having a deaf mother influenced your life positively and negatively?
Leave it up to my sister to ask the deepest and most difficult question to answer. I've thought long and hard about my answer and have decided to answer in as much honesty as possible. Growing up with a deaf mother was incredibly hard and unless you've actually lived in those shoes, it's almost indescribable. The loneliness I felt was constant and I'm not sure if it's because my house was silent or if it's because I was an only child but it was profound. Naturally, there were perks like turning the music up as loud as I wanted and sneaking the phone to talk at all hours of the night. At this time, I've yet to gain proper perspective on the positive vs. negative impact but I know that my mother did the best that she could with what she had and that has forced me to do better in my own life. Which is what I think any mother would want.

Tabitha @ Roots & Wings
Did you name your dolls/Barbies as a kid?? What were their names??
I wasn't really a Barbie kind of girl - most of my dolls were of the Cabbage Patch form and they all came with their very own names. I usually chose Cabbage Patches based on their names (which you could see on the box) and never changed them.

The Evening Quickie

(Alternatively titled: Holy crap, I haven't been this sick since I was 9 years old - why, oh why God, do you smite me?)

I'm sick. I'm not really sure with what yet and no, I haven't gone to the doctor and no, I haven't taken any medicine besides Advil. I don't really do medicine because I'm a Scientologist. Just kidding. There are lots of reasons why but I only tell that information to people after I've slept with them. I'm going to get a little descriptive with my symptoms here so if you're squeamish to mucous, snot and other questionable liquids leaking from my head, I suggest you stop reading after the sentence before this one.

My sinuses are clogged with a lot of stuff - some of it I can blow out, others that I can feel dripping into my throat. I'm trying to avoid swallowing at all costs as to avoid an Olympic Event of Mucous Puking. I am also coughing but not an extraordinary amount and I"m not really getting anything up from my lungs. I have the weirdest sore throat, too. It doesn't hurt to swallow but it hurts to spit or cough. The good news is, I can still talk and eat copious amount of Twinkies and the such. The bad news is the Twinkies and such taste like boogers.

There is a hurricane coming. On Monday. Which is the 1st day of school. And I haven't been the grocery store for water and other essentials yet. In case you're wondering if I have any plans for tomorrow, I will be standing in line at Publix tomorrow for seventeen hours waiting in line to pay for those water and other essentials. Maybe I can cough all over everyone and they'll let me skip line. (I really doubt it - this is South Florida and we are ruder than the fine folks in NYC.)

This is officially my 99th post and it's not too late to ask your questions. I will be posting the final questions on #100 whenever I'm feeling better and / or Florida Power & Light restores my power after the hurricane. Whichever comes first.

*Edited to add - because when it rains, baby, it pours in the Brown Household, our a/c isn't working now. And it's 89 degrees at 10 o'clock at night. I suppose that's really quite convenient, though, seeing as how we won't have power pretty soon anyway.

Sincerely 'Fro Me To You - The Mommy and Me Portraits Disaster

Kristen @ We Are THAT Family hosts this Blog Carnival posted every Thursday.

To read all of my Sincerely 'Fro posts, click here.

I started running low on Sincerely 'Fro pictures so I raided my mother's photo albums and I'm a little bit sorry I did. There are copious amounts of awfully bad and embarrassing photos - enough to last a Sincerely 'Fro lifetime. For this week's entry, though, I've decided to do it up right with Mommy and Me photos.

Here are the runner ups for Best of Worst Mommy and Me Photo:

This was my mom and me in 1982. I don't know how long my mother saved every bit of money available in order to afford this picture but I'm fairly sure it took my whole life of 6 months. It gets last place in the Best of Worst because I really do adore this picture. In fact, to this day, it hangs in it's original frame in my home.

Aside from the obvious hair issues I'm having here, I chose this as #3 because of the story behind the photo. My mother tells me she will never forgive me for ruining this picture. I don't remember any of this but her version is that immediately before this photo was taken, I was in impossible mode (ahem - again) and tortured my poor mother to tears. I'm pretty sure I wasn't completely at fault - being 9 years old and all - but she's never let me live it down. Let it go, Mom. Let it go.

I think I was around 13 when this picture was taken and I know that I'm wearing my mom's dress. By the look on my mom's face, I probably ruined this photo shoot, too. By this time, my mom was slightly (and I mean slightly) better off financially and so we classed it up and had these taken at Olan Mills (before they were in Kmarts). You may be wondering why this photo only placed 2nd and how is it possible that I had worse hair than the botched bangs (which I did myself) but continue reading...

Not only did we wear matching dresses and you can see the baby powder on her chest (she still does that) but the hair. Oh - the hair. This photo is in the true spirit of Sincerely 'Fro. When I pulled this picture out, my mom told me another story. She said that I begged to have this hair because it matched hers. Well, Mom is getting a little older these days and my memory seems to be a little sharper than hers and let me tell you - I did NOT beg to have this hair. I did not take myself the beauty salon at 8 years old and pay for a perm (a perm!). I also did not sit on the toilet seat of our bathroom and blow dry and curl and use 3 bottles of hairspray for the bangs. No, Mother, I did not. Besides, the proof is in the dress - she bought the matching dresses so it's evident that she was behind the very, very bad matching hair.

I want that pretty recycled one Dooce featured yesterday

I really need to get a small notebook to carry around because over the past few days, I've thought of some funny blog topics and even some hilarious sentences to go with them. Except I forgot them all and you're stuck with this hodge-podge of my life for this week.

While I was kissing and tickling Olivia, I told her I love her more than anything else in the world and she's my #1. She was very pleased with this information but her response was less than impressive (at least it was for me). "You're my number two. Daddy is my number one." This is why I want a boy next time.

My sleeping patterns are so jacked up this week. I'm writing it off to Aunt Flo but I need to resume to my regularly scheduled programming soon before I go insane.

Olivia goes back to school this Monday (hallelujah) but there is still so much I need to do at school, it's frightening. I'm off from work on Friday and that happens to be the same day as Open House. I hope I can spend endless hours there this week or else I'll never be ready in time.

My kitchen is a mess and I'm not trying to be facetious. The fish bowl is so dirty, poor Tommy the Beta cannot see out of it. The laundry is piled up to the ceiling and I haven't decided when there will be time to chip away at it. And that bathroom has that smell again.

It has rained every single day this Summer. I know it's South Florida so it's expected to rain a lot in the summer but seriously - this is enough. I've only been in the pool once and that's really disappointing. I'm hoping for a better weekend this weekend because I cannot go to the first day of school all pale.

Danny has agreed to let me paint the dining room wall whatever color I want. This is a huge victory in our home but now I can't decide what color I want. He doesn't care, as long as I leave him out of it but I need him to come with me to pick out paint colors.

Speaking of Danny, he recently insulted my artwork on the living room wall. My feelings were really hurt and I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I can do to improve the situation. I had a EUREKA! thought today and when I suggested it, he was very confused and told me he loved the wall with the quotes and why did I want to change it? I reminded him of his harsh criticism from the other day and he laughed and said "that's just what we do. We hurt each other's feelings. Some people buy each other presents and give nice cards - we throw insults." I haven't really resolved how I feel about this but if you know my husband, it was a sweet thing for him to say. Like the time he told me that "you don't give away a Rolls Royce just because it has a couple of scratches and dents" when I asked him if he would ever leave me.

I'm not sure if I'm coming down with a cold (in the middle of August) or if the all the drywall dust I took in last weekend has had an adverse effect on my respitory system but man, I've got a sore throat.

I've started my 100th post but have post-dated it. I'm glad to say that I've answered all of your questions with complete honesty. It's not too late to ask questions, though. Just leave a comment here with your question and I'll include it with #100.

The sin quiz

Tabitha @ Roots & Wings posted this quiz. I don't usually participate but I was curious about my results. Tabitha, looks like I'm going to hell way before you are.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	High

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

PS. I'm pretty offended that all of my volunteer work has not offset my sins by very much. It's a good thing I like what I do. Also - I didn't know that "sloth" meant lazy.

I didn't know we were a part of THAT family!

Kristen @ We Are THAT Family invites everyone to write about how their family is THAT family. This is my first official submission to this weekly and boy, it's a good one.

I've recently been telling the horrors of Brown Re-decorating episodes 1 thru a million but in order to do this story justice, I have to re-tell some points.

Because we are THAT family, I'd been using thumbtacks to hang precious family portraits on the wall. And because my husband only married into THAT family, he insisted we use spackle to cover the holes instead of say, toothpaste. He went to work, I couldn't wait and so I proceeded to apply the spackle with my gloved hands - it was not a good job. Each thumbtack hole had about half an inch of spackle and the hole wasn't even covered. He said he'd help me spackle but he took a nap first - I bet you can predict the next part - I couldn't wait. Using a .50 cent foam sanding block, I went at that spackle for five hours. By the time Danny woke up, my entire house (and by entire I really mean from one end to the other) was covered in drywall dust. This was including our brand new TV and entertainment center but was not limited to areas such as my hair.

While I was in the shower scrubbing my skin raw and washing my hair times six, I heard screaming. This is not unusual for my family. (I guess that should have been my first clue that I was part of THAT family.) Olivia runs into the bathroom like a crazed lunatic is chasing her with weaponry and with her shrieks are giggles. "What's wrong?" I said. "dfsdfjleurewiouqpc" she answered. Huh? Oh, that's all the shampoo blocking my line of hearing. "Daddy farted on me and he's going to do it again and it really stinks." Sigh. My first instinct was correct - a crazed lunatic chasing her with weaponry.

As she's escaping out the 2nd bathroom door I hear that scream - a blood curdling scream that can only come from a small child, usually a girl - when she's really hurt.

Picture this: I am in the shower with so much shampoo on my head that more of it has dripped into my eyes, nose and ears than it has cleaned my hair. I cannot see, hear or smell (thank God for the last sense lost) but my child is screaming. "WHAT'S WRONG?"

She slammed her finger into the door as she was making her big getaway from the FartDaddy.

So, friends. I admit - I did not know that we are part of THAT family but it's true. When your daughter gets hurt while running away from her father who's farted on her and threatens to do it again; there's no denying it.