Thursday, April 5, 2007

No Wonder Why My Ass Keeps Growing!

I borrowed this article from I find it to ring slightly true in my personal life but also found it to be highly offensive. Especially since it was written by a man. I have a lot to say about "domestication", particularly when it pertains to women my age and I'm trying to gather my thoughts to write a blog about it. Stay tuned. In the meantime, enjoy the article and let me know your thoughts on it!

How Wild Women Stay Thin
By Dr. Matthew AndersoneDiets ContributorUpdated: April 5, 2007
A life too focused on domestic duties and expectations can drain a woman of her instinctual wildness, passion and creativity. Too many women control their wildness with comfort food, and thus create extra pounds instead of aliveness.
I'm going to share the definition of "to domesticize" with you. This may make you sick, but sometimes getting sick is a healthy response to something toxic.
To Domesticize – To train, to live with and be of use to man; to tame.
This definition originally applied to animals, however, too often now, applies to women. When a woman cooperates too fully with the process of domestication, she runs the risk of losing her connection to her instinctual aliveness. Weight gain is a significant result of this subtle, but dangerous process.
Question: Have you been overly domesticated? Is your day and your life filled to the brim with domestic duties? Do you ever feel that you are a slave to your household duties, to your children's and/or husband's needs?
Question: Do you ever have the urge to be something other than, or in addition, to domestic? Does this idea seem exciting or threatening, or both?
Question: Do you ever feel the urge to live a life that is an expression of your wild energy -- more robust, inventive, creative, passionate, more wolf-like than domestic pet, unashamed, un-muzzled, animated and imaginative, confident, clear, dream-driven and ultimately fully alive?
Question: Do you use comfort food to manage your wild energy? Many weight-challenged women in America unsuccessfully attempt to domesticate their natural and instinctual energies under the guise of being good mothers, good wives and good citizens. Then they fight a daily battle with their deeper untamed selves. The most obvious symptom of this battle is fat.
You are not a family pet that needs to be tamed. I know our culture might have you think this, but you and I both know this idea is reprehensible. I am certain that there is an energy rising in you at this very moment that wants to shout an untamed, "Yes!" The question then is: What are you going to do with it? If you do not find a meaningful path of expression for this energy you will continue to have an extremely difficult time losing weight
It works like this: Your wild energy wants to find expression in your daily life. Your rules about having to be a domesticated being demand that your wildness get back into its cage. Comfort food becomes your main means for caging the energy. Since your wild energy is instinctual and basic to your existence, it will not go away. Thus, you require an endless supply of comfort food to manage it.
If you go on a diet, you have to try to manage your instinctual wildness with willpower instead of comfort food. Using willpower in an attempt to manage your instinctual wildness is like using a dog leash to handle King Kong. No wonder your diet fails!
What then is the solution? Here is a brief, but highly effective set of guidelines I have often shared with my clients and workshop participants. By the way, they work for men too.
Guidelines for Expressing Your Wildness
1. Acknowledge and accept the fact that instinctual, healthy wildness is an essential part of your being.
2. Get a journal and begin to list and describe how your wildness could be expressed. This exercise will help you moderate the anxiety that may initially arise when you approach these energies in yourself. Remember, your wildness is not inherently dangerous, but you may experience some discomfort as you begin to get to know it.
3. Read the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Try to read it in an undomesticated way. I know you think you have to read a book front to back. Forget that. Read this book in any fashion you like. Choose a story and read it. Find a paragraph that turns you on, write it on a card and carry it around with you. Devour the book.
4. Start every day with the following question: How can I express my wildness today?
If you want more encouragement and ideas about how to express your wildness, please email me at

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