Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wunnderful Word Wednesday

I read lots of other mom's blogs but my favorite is wouldashouldacoulda, Mir is insightful, funny and very bright. She features "Love Thursdays" where she posts something obscenely mushy and quickly puts you in a good mood with all of her love.
In honor of Love Thursdays (in honor of or just stealing the idea? You decide.), I'm going to start a weekly feature, too!
Wunnerful Word Wednesdays!
I realized that while my vocabulary is quite large, expanding it wouldn't hurt. So every Wednesday, I'll pick a new (to me), interesting word and use it in my post! (Plus, it'll guarantee a new post every Wednesday!)

How does one know that they're about to fall off the edge? Perhaps, for me, it is wearing fuzzy, pink bedroom slippers to work on accident (or subconsciously on purpose) two days in a row. Maybe the 4 hour nap I took yesterday was a big warning sign.
There is a looming, vapid feeling my life this week. A feeling that I just cannot shake or pin point, it's just there. The tragic events on Monday at VA Tech, I hope, has contributed but I keep feeling like there is something else. Is something missing?
I thought for sure this month would be the month I discovered I'm pregnant but sadly, awoke yesterday to discover it is not, in fact, the month.
On the surface I'm able to foster a quasi-smile but anyone who knows me is aware that this cannot last long. Soon the quasi-smile will transgress and I will just be sad. I can only fake myself through this life for so long.
I sense a whole lot of guilt these days. Guilt for taking that 4 hour nap, leaving Husband with Chicken, guilt for not getting the laundry out of the dryer before it wrinkled, Chicken-imposed guilt for forgetting to pack her a drink in her lunchbox last week (she's still bitching about it) and guilt for not having a funny, positive blog post for days.
Tonight, we have dinner guests, people that we adore and are great fun (and hopefully, a distraction). I will make lasagna and drink lots of wine and laugh a million laughs.
Lets just hope my quasi-smile doesn't expire before then.

Vapid (vap-id); adjective - lacking or having lost life, sharpness or flavor

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