It used to be the fatter I got, the skinner I felt. When I revisit photos of myself from 5 years ago, I relish in my skinniness, it's amazing that 10 years ago, at a size 7, I thought I was fat. Oh, how I wish.
I used to say that God makes me stay fat because if I were skinny, I'd dress like a skank-ass hoe (Not to be confused with "nappy-headed ho". Please don't fire me.), wildly inappropriate to show all my skinniness.
When I pass a mirror, door or large framed picture and see my own, ever expanding figure, I think "Who IS that person?". Not along ago, I had the confidence that screamed "I may LOOK like Carnie Wilson (pre-surgery, of course) but I feel like Jessica Biel! I don't feel like that anymore. I don't want to be the fat girl married to that amazing guy from Spacemen anymore, I want to be able to shop with the rest of the people my age, in all that cuteness. It is not fashionable to be fat, no matter how much he tells me I look beautiful. I still feel like a fat girl trying to dress like a skinny one.
So today is the day!
Ok, maybe not today because I've already got dinner plans to make lasagna for my very beautiful and trendy friend. You can't have a special dinner without special dessert (which is to be determined).
Today isn't the day. But tomorrow is the day! No more chocolate cake for breakfast! No more Kit Kats for lunch! I'll eat salad! I'll eat half portions! I will work out (almost) everyday until I lose 50lbs.
This means, of course, that I'll have to give up the full fat mayonnaise and ice cream, which is very sad (although Hagan-Daas makes a really good S'mores ice cream in 1/3 fat). And I love McDonald's greasy fries, especially when they're hot.
On the bright side, if I loose weight, I won't look pregnant anymore and perhaps will actually get pregnant!
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3 months ago
1 comment:
Maybe you and I can do this together from afar! I need to lose 50lbs also. What a great support system we could be and hold each other accountable for the foods we eat! What do you think?
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